Boulder Beer - Mojo India Pale Ale

MOJO JOJO! MOJO JOJO!

Who hasn't screamed Mojo Jojo in tribute to everyone's favorite evil monkey? Well I for one have always been fond of the arch nemesis to the Power Puff Girls and find a reason to scream "MOJO JOJO" nearly everyday. Like the calamitous ape, Mojo IPA from Boulder Beer is one wicked little critter. From the instant I ripped the cap of off the bottle (yes ladies, I am that strong) I knew that this would be a beer to enjoy. Although there isn't much of an aroma to this beer, it has a pleasant hobby taste and is very drinkable. One thing worthy of noting is the amount of lacing left after drinking this beer. I couldn't believe the amount of foamy residue in my glass. There was so much that I had to drink 6 more just to make sure it wasn't an anomaly.

After tonight, I definitely got my mojo werkin. 4 stars

Boulder Beer - Sweaty Betty Blonde

So, I must admit I was a little intrigued by this Sweaty Betty Blonde offering from Boulder Beer. Would I be rewarded with the succulent taste of a young, energetic maiden of a beer. Or would my lips pucker in disgust as if I were kissing the neck of an over worked school cafeteria chef.

Well, no need to wonder any longer. Sweaty Betty Blonde is one great beer.

That is of course if by great you mean absolutely horrible. If you want to enjoy the unique flavor of Sweaty Betty Blonde without spending your hard earned money follow these 6 simple steps:

1. Take 1 bottle of Piels beer and sit outside in the sun for 2 days
2. Bring bottle inside and pour onto the floor
3. Mop entire floor with sponge mop and generous amounts of water
4. Urinate, just a little, into your mop water
   
5. Pour bucket of mop water into a glass
   
6. Enjoy

0 out of 5 stars

Boulder Beer - 30th Anniversary Flashback Ale

Good evening fans of the Brew Ha Ha. I must apologize to you all. I know how much you enjoy and depend on my posting to inform your beer drinking decisions. Fret not fellow lovers of the brew. I'm back and ready to educate you on another fine family of malt beverages.

This week's selection is brought to you Boulder Beer. Ahh, there is nothing quite like the excitement of tasting a new beer for the first time. It reminds of my days as a young boy, feeling the tingle in my Underoos when anticipating a new adventure of Scooby Doo. (ok, I was a weird kid). Anyway, my first selection for the night is the 30th Anniversary Flashback Ale.

Here's the deal. This beer is good. It has a beautiful, dark reddish brown color and rewards you with a healthy head of foam with intricate lacing in your glass.

The flavor is slightly nutty with just the right amount of hoppiness. It goes down very easy, and is not too filling. I feel like I could drink this all night. But at 6.8%, it will kick my ass if I do.

4 out of 5 stars

Magic Hat - Roxy Rolles

Woo hoo. I think I need a smoke after drinking this beer. (No really, I've been smoke free for 13 weeks today and this beer is that good). Allow me to present Roxy Rolles from our good friends at Magic Hat. I'm not sure what Roxy Rolles even means but they should have just called this "O Face".

The first thing you'll notice upon pouring this beer is it's sexy red hue. Think Linsay Lohan from mean girls. Sweet yet spicy. Dangerous but approachable. I can go on and on. This is one fantastic beer.

The aroma of this beer will remind you of autumn. Fitting since this is their autumn seasonal beer. The taste is very complex. Strong, herbal taste but not over powering. It kind of reminds me of beer flavored cider but in a good way.

If you want to try something different I encourage you to try this one. Trust me, it's that good.

5 stars.

Magic Hat - Circus Boy

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I know I've been M.I.A. lately and for this I apologize. It's been a rough week and I have seriously been craving some beer and some bloggin'.

To celebrate the weekend and the end of another 7 day chapter in my life I decided to go to an old reliable friend and spend the weekend with Magic Hat.

For those of you who have never tried this beer, I strongly suggest you sample it. Most of the time it's very good and the Circus Boy is no exception. Upon pouring you'll notice a lot of head. This is not a problem for me. I happen to like a little head and a lot of head is good too. But I digress. Ciruce Boy is considered a hefeweizen which I typically find offensive but this beer is just the opposite. It is actually quite refreshing. It doesn't have the strong herbal after-tastes of other hefeweizens and is quite drinkable.

This beer gets 3.5 stars

River Horse - Summer Blonde

I asked my wife which beer out of the River Horse variety pack she wanted and she quickly picked the Summer Blonde. My mind raced and came to the conclusion that she was trying to tell me something. Something exciting, exotic, and dirty.

Alas, she just picked it because of the yellow label but I can still dream.

This beer is like many summer blondes I've known in the past. It's good looking from a distance, but upon closer inspection, it smells like cheap flowers on top of canned peas.

As for the taste. This beer doesn't really taste bad but it doesn't really taste good either. It's very thin, with a sweet, crisp taste. If it had a little more body it might be a decent beer.

This beverage may appear to be a peroxide fueled summer delight but at the end of the night, your mouth will feel a little waxy and cheap. They should change the name of it to Skank Ho beer. 2 stars.

River Horse - Double Wit

My wife and I went for a bike ride along the Pine Creek Gorge today. It was a very nice day for a ride but we did see a dead snake and a dead mouse. Very sad indeed. Anyway, since all of the shops in this town close at 5:00 I figured I'd start my reviews early.

Tonight's adventure starts with River Horse Double Wit (belgian style ale). As you can tell from my excellent photo, this beer pours to a lovely golden straw color and produces very little head. (nothing wrong with a little head I always say)

The first thing I noticed upon upon bringing the glass to my face is the slight smell of lemons and exotic spices. This beer has a lot of character and may not be for everyone. It also seems to have more carbonation than I'm used to. As if someone put a lemon cough drop in bottle of seltzer and served it to me in an half emtpy 40 bottle. Yes, I like this beer but I've had better. At 7% alcohol though it may be what you're looking for. 2 stars.

River Horse - Hop Hazard

Good evening fellow beer drinkers. I am happy to report that I am on vacation in beautiful Wellsboro, PA.

Ahhh, nothing is more refreshing to the soul than crisp mountain air and a tasty micro-brew to tickle the palate.

Entertaining my mouth and gullet this week is the River Horse Variety Pack. As with almost everything else I buy, I was drawn in by the fancy packaging. In this case, a picture of a hippopotamus.

My first selection for the night was a lovely beer called Hop Hazard. As I poured this beer into my 6 ounce motel glass I was quickly impressed by the beautiful orange color and thick head. Upon taking the first swig, I was pleased to discover that this beer tastes as good as it looks. The first swallow has a slight citrus overtone but it finishes off with a bold, earthy hop taste. This beer would be a good choice to slowly drink with dinner or to pound until vomiting. Very versatile indeed. 3 stars.

Flying Dog - Garde Dog Biere de Garde

Wikipedia says "7 (seven) is the natural number following 6 and preceding 8". I define it as a hell of a lot of different beers to include in 1 mix pack. Strong effort Flying Dog. I applaud you.

Ok. The praise stops there. Garde Dog, Bière de Garde is, très mauvaise bière.

C'mon. One look at this label and I knew it was telling a lie. A cold, carbonated, urine smelling lie.

Who would believe in a tough, aggressive French dog? French dogs are far from aggressive and tough.

To prove my point I've used the latest in internet technology and stem cell research to genetically clone a beast with my face and a french poodle's body. Those of you who know me are well aware of my machoness. Look how less macho I look by simply splicing in some french dog genes.

Perhaps if this beer had good flavor like French toast, or French fries then I would give it some slack. Instead this tastes more like French sweat mixed with some French vinegar. 1 out of 5 stars.

Bad beer. Bad.

Flying Dog - Doggie Style Classic Pale Ale

It's the bow to the wow, creepin and crawlin

Yiggy yes y'allin, Snoop Doggy Dogg in...

This is some good shiznitz. This fine offering from our friends at Flying Dog. Doggie Style Classic Pale Ale is da' bomb.

If you like pale ales then give this a try. It's got great balance and is sure to please even the pickiest of palates. Pours smooth and tastes divine. It reminds me of a little diddy.

Two in the mornin and the partys still jumpin
Cause my momma aint home
I got bitches in the living room gettin it on
And, they aint leavin til six in the mornin

Yeah boyeee. That's what this beer is like.